Screwed.edu
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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