it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
