I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
whose parrot is this?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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