That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
