In the future we'll all be gay
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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