I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I want is dick and wine.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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