Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
