At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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