I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
