whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
