so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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