Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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