You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
