fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
