You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
