I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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