I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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