your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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