Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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