is your mom at the bar?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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