when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
