I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
