There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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