My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
