i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
