Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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