Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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