Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
