I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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