just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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