The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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