I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
