So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
