Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
