my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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