found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize