Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
