Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
