how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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