Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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