Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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