Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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