talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
