If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
