he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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