Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
