he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
