You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
