The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
