i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
do herpes really smell.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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