it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
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