Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize