There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
