check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You can't special order awesome
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
