fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
