If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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