i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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