do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
