It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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