I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
